What stops you from surrendering to wisdom fully?

I had a very cool conversation with someone this week that prompted this inquiry in me. We were talking about allowing the mind to travel beyond thought, into a different space, and allowing a wisdom to come through. And whilst I was so willing to play in this space (according to the words I was saying, the conscious belief I had, and a recognition of a lot of moments where I already do), I was witnessing some resistance to going there show up when it came to other areas of my life.
I noticed that there was something there for me around protection, around being passive, around not having change occur.
I have some thinking that if I was to listen to wisdom, I might somehow not be safe, I might not be pro-active, and I might not be able to create or at least contribute to the change that is so desperately required in the world.
Here is what I heard by the end of the conversation;
– Wisdom will not allow you to be passive, or a pushover, or stupid! It is called “WISDOM”!! (I actually heard this – These were my mentor’s words not my wisdom by the way, but boy did it land with me!)
– Wisdom will give you greater answers to enable change than the intellect ever can.
– I noticed I don’t trust wisdom enough yet to be able to fully let go! I can hear it, and I am denying it in some places.
– So the question is… Am I willing to put my trust in wisdom even more? To venture fully into the unknown?
I also heard this;
– I am loved
– I am done fighting
– I am done with it being hard
– Legacy is important
– There is another level of selfless love to reach
– Selfless love does not mean being used or taken advantage of
– Selfless love can be letting go
– I am always ok.
Now… don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life, I love who I am, and who I am becoming, I love my capacity to listen generously, I love my capacity to speak what I see in the name of service no matter what someone makes up about me as a result. I love my capacity to stay grounded in my own truth and loving with the person who may be in story about me. I have created so much joy and ease in my life from creating really strong inner foundations. And perhaps one of the things I love the most is the radical honesty I am willing to bring to my own growth.
Because these two things can exist as truth at the same time;
I can love my life (and I can love my life even when it is not going as I had planned)
And there can be more work to do. More learning to discover. Areas that still feel hard.
For me, when I mention an area which feels hard, In this instance I am not talking about an “external area” eg business, money. I’m noticing an internal area for growth. I notice that when let’s call them “undesirable events” occur, that I can move into peace in a jiffy. It has become organic for me to move beyond thought and for these things to look totally ok. For instance, my move to Vancouver involved a 9 hour flight turning into a 25 hour journey, getting stuck on the plane, a 4 hour wait in the airport for the bags to be “unjammed” wherever they were jammed and show up on the carousel, a supposed 7pm greeting from my coach at my new apartment that instead turned into a 3am 10 second hug on the empty streets of Vancouver and a taxi ride to an empty apartment!
And it has definitely taken work for me to reach this level of consciousness with these kind of events.
The growth area for me, remains around my attachment to judgement of people. Again, a lot is already looking and feeling different here (but there is still work to be done). And by the way – when I say work, this time I’m trialling a new approach, this time the work is allowing myself to trust wisdom. To go beyond thought, to fully surrender!
I’ll share with you some of what was discussed in the conversation I had this week about the judgement of others;
Me: “I was loving my morning, reading my book on the beach, feeling super zen and appreciative to have the beach almost to myself. Then a family came along and decided to sit right next to me. The kids were playing and shouting and I thought… really? all the beach is pretty much available and you choose to sit practically on top of me disturbing my peace! I guess these thoughts show my judgement was that they were stupid, inconsiderate and rude. I caught the story, allowed it to be there and then moved into this place of… ok, so maybe I’m not meant to be on the beach right now, maybe I can see the joy and wonder in the play, maybe the kids are showing me that life is about play”.
Mentor: You’re working too hard! 🙂 (These weren’t his exact words, I’m summarising!) He then invited me into another way of being with my IDEA of who I should be in those moments and how to play with moving beyond the judgement.
Me: Hahahaha!
I love writing like this, I love having a space to explore my thoughts and my learnings, and to allow new thought to come through. Maybe there’ll be more to come, maybe there won’t!
My sharing above is not coming from a need to run away from something, from a pain point, from stress. It is coming from a beautiful appreciation and curiosity into how good am I willing to let my life really get? What is beyond the imaginable? What is beyond what I could possibly create just using the memory bank alone? And all of this starts with a radical honesty about where I am now and where my growth edges are.
Would you be bold or courageous enough to share publicly that you have judgement of others? Or would you hide that for fear of what people would think? For fear of feeling shame, guilt or embarrassment that you think this way? What are you hiding that if only you could air, there would be true freedom on the other side?
I am a coach and I commit to not judging my clients. And in my coaching space, even if a judgemental thought pops in, it is effortless to simply notice it, and to not identify with it, to not believe it. It seems so easy to create a space where people are free to be fully FULLY themselves and share anything. It is a way of being with my clients that seems automatic. But it is trickier in these other places involving people outside of the coaching space. Such as the beach story I shared with you for example.
The only way we can move beyond our edges is when we show up with honesty about them. Removing judgement is not my goal. I am human and will always experience judgemental thought. Learning to move effortlessly beyond the judgement and into a space where wisdom can emerge is the goal. And this time, my approach will be surrendering. Surrendering to allow myself into that space, and surrendering to whatever emerges within in. Surrendering fully to the unknown.
I am excited for the next 12 months. I have a sense (ooh hello wisdom) that there will be many people who shape this journey with me. And I am blessed and grateful to have them in my life and ready to walk this path with me. Some I already know of and some are unknown to me… yet!
I’m ready!