Daily meetings with myself.

Each morning I take a meeting with myself.

I meet myself exactly where I am. No need to be anywhere else.  I I look to see what’s  alive inside of me. I look at what thoughts and judgements, fears and feelings I’m experiencing. I notice what is present in me and I look for the meaning in the story that is creating my experience. 

I just meet myself there and I sit and I notice and I meet myself with love and I gently inquire as to what’s important about this for me.

If there is a judgement and there’s any resistance to letting it go, I just go a bit deeper, I ask the question… what is it that’s too important to just let go? And I allow my mind to bring the answers to me. To really feel into what’s so important about this that’s stopping me from letting go? What wants to be heard and acknowledged? What is it showing me that matters?

I read a post today from James Clear. It said something along the lines of… “is this a problem that needs to be solved or one that can be eliminated altogether?” & “the projects you don’t take on, don’t need to be finished”.  

It’s been really important to me all my life to be heard. To have a voice, and to be listened to. And for some time now, I’ve been experiencing the exact opposite of that from those close to me. 

I took it on; the problem of people not listening, and with it, the project of getting them to. 

I’d raised it multiple times and asked for help in my coaching sessions with it. And yet it persisted. I always felt like I was just being pointed to a more peaceful place inside of me but without any power to create change. To create a world where people listened better. A world where people were heard more. A world where people cared more. A world where justice stands a chance because the truth is heard.

And then this week, on a call with my current coach. I discovered something. 

I won’t let my own peace of mind be more important than truth, if truth is what will keep people safe. 

If a voice that is expressing truth is not being heard then how can justice prevail? 

He offered to me… 97% of the time when you’re not heard, it’s not dangerous.

I realised this morning as part of my meeting with myself, that there will be circumstances in life where I will fight to be heard because the consequences of not being heard for myself and for others are too significant to accept and move on quietly.

The Me Too movement speaks to this.

The Netflix series Alba speaks to this.

The Black Lives Matter movement speaks to this. 

And then there are other, everyday occurrences where someone doesn’t listen. Perhaps their own story is preventing them from listening, preventing them from hearing. 

And in these circumstances, if I apply the 97% rule, I can see that I’m not in danger. 

I can see that it doesn’t really matter that much whether I’m heard. 

I can see that it’s a project that doesn’t need to be taken on, a problem that doesn’t need to be solved.

And on the other side of that realisation, there is a freedom. There is a choice. There is infinite choice. 

Here are just a few;

The choice to remain surrounded by the people who don’t hear you but this time be at peace with it. Knowing that you and others are not in danger and there is no problem to solve. 

The choice to invite them in to loving conversation to create a way to be with each other that inspires and encourages deep listening.

And the choice to move on. To find an environment where being heard is a value held as deeply by others. And an intentional practice and way of being in their lives. 

What are the problems and projects that you are taking on, that might benefit from some inquiry? 

Now I’ve eliminated this problem, I’m free to create ❤️